How to Be a More Confident Introvert
Self-confidence is a belief in yourself and your abilities. You can have no, low and over self-confidence. You can even have different levels of self-confidence in different areas of your life.
People with positive self-confidence both feel good about themselves and know they can take on any task with experience, resources and training.
Many often attribute those who are more extroverted, who find social skills easy and are of a more talkative nature, to higher self-confidence. This common belief is like a mirage in the desert; it’s not true.
- Have self-compassion.
By having self-compassion, we can reduce our criticism of ourselves as well as of others. Before I started meditating regularly, I felt I had compassion for others and myself. The truth is, not as much as I thought.
When expanding my compassion for others, it helped build my compassion for myself. In the process, I became less critical of others and myself.
Ultimately as self-criticism goes down, we boost our self-confidence.
- Use strengths first.
We may or may not be able to change our personality. Like many introvert and extrovert studies, results are not conclusive. What is certain is we can use our strengths, talents and gift to be who we are and grow in confidence with that.
First, be aware of the many myths and misconceptions around introversion. Too often we make it harder to believe in ourselves.
Then, use these myths to find the real truth of our strengths.
By recognizing our strengths – including listening more, being content working alone, thinking before acting and more – what we do well becomes stronger, and we become more confident.
Stop, be still and listen. What are your strengths?
- Try 2-minute body language.
When I was writing my most recent book, I came across a TED Talk by Amy Cuddy. Cuddy and coauthors Dana R. Carney and Andy J. Yap of Columbia University have an article in Psychological Science reviewing the results of an experiment of power poses.
The poses are not about what they communicate to other people. They are about what the poses communicate to you; how changing your behavior is changing your mind, which is changing your results.
Reported feelings of the people: high-power poses claimed to feel both more powerful and able to take charge.
So when you want to feel more confident, you want your body to be in an expansive mode, taking up more space regardless of whether you are standing or sitting.
Think, the Super Woman stance.
Self-confidence relates to our faith and absurdness in our abilities. Have self-compassion and use your strengths to build confidence over time. But when you only have two minutes, put your hands on your hips, standing with feet hip-width apart and you’ll find confidence fills you.
What works for you in building your self-confidence?
Want more specifics about introvert strengths and how to use them? Grab the free 32-page excerpt the ebook, The Happy and Fulfilled Introvert. Patricia Weber, the introvert inspirer, provides practical tools – books, coaching, speaking for the introvert to navigate the rules at work
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